Great Aunt Gill

Foreplay - to my eyes, a perfect picture.

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 07:36:00 +0200

Foreplay - to my eyes, a perfect picture.

A lovely and very pleasing picture; deceptively simple.

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 07:31:36 +0200

A lovely and very pleasing picture; deceptively simple.

The names which people call themselves on the internet are...

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 18:13:31 +0200

The names which people call themselves on the internet are getting weirder and weirder. The other day I noticed someone called ‘I wanna do naughty things to Cinderella’. I promise I’m not making it up.

I thought he might have an identity problem and thought of himself as one of the ugly sisters. And I couldn’t help wondering what he might want to do to Snow White and Little Red Riding Hood.

“I know I’m not perfect but parts of me are just...

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 07:53:29 +0200

“I know I’m not perfect but parts of me are just awesome.”

Playing with your imagination.

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 08:43:39 +0200

Playing with your imagination.

Another for Mr. G.

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 08:40:08 +0200

Another for Mr. G.

Personally I think Sharon Stone looks great here but it seems...

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 08:37:00 +0200

Personally I think Sharon Stone looks great here but it seems the gutter media didn’t think so and heaped ridicule upon her, as they are always eager to do.

People who spend their time criticising others are defining themselves by what they are not. If they do that most of the time, then are we not entitled to conclude that they themselves must be just an empty space?

Bad Sex Award - 2009

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 07:31:00 +0200

The short-list for the bad sex in fiction award of 2009 is here:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2009/nov/19/bad-sex-factor-prize-shortlist

Some of it really is B A D but it’s funny as well. Here is an extract:

‘Almost in an instant his desire rises to a level where the pressure to reach a climax stalls and gives way to a sort of sensitive physical alertness, pleased with its own sexual generosity, that gets a kick out of giving her thrill after thrill and postponing his own satisfaction, feeling to see how he can give her more and more pleasure, until she cannot take any more. And so, in complete self-denial – in every sense – with his fingers, now experienced and even inspired, he starts to steer her enjoyment like a ship towards its home port, to the deepest anchorage, right to the core of her pleasure.’

’ … like a ship towards its home port’ - aye aye Captain!

Despite the shaky hand he just had to capture the encounter.

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 07:15:43 +0200

Despite the shaky hand he just had to capture the encounter.

Halle Berry - a beautiful woman.

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 07:12:26 +0200

Halle Berry - a beautiful woman.

Got to like her smile.

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 07:04:02 +0200

Got to like her smile.

An interesting brief-case.

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 07:02:00 +0200

An interesting brief-case.

Another ‘Thank You’ for Mr. G.

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 06:57:32 +0200

Another ‘Thank You’ for Mr. G.

A certain gentleman friend has been very helpful to me over the...

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 09:44:00 +0200

A certain gentleman friend has been very helpful to me over the last few weeks so, amongst other things, I’m going to offer him something of a public thank you over the next few days. I know his partiality for ladies’ rear quarters only too well, so Mr. G, this is for you.

I’ve no idea who she is but it looks like she knows how to...

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 09:33:00 +0200

I’ve no idea who she is but it looks like she knows how to have fun.

Marie Helvin, hot model of the seventies; as she was then and is...

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 08:15:38 +0200

Marie Helvin, hot model of the seventies; as she was then and is she is now, aged 57.

Thanks to Wayne for reminding me of her.

A bit of a Monday morning rant … Over the weekend, at a very...

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 07:50:00 +0200

A bit of a Monday morning rant …

Over the weekend, at a very smart but very boring dinner party, I was seated between two men who turned out to be amateur photographic enthusiasts. They spent two hours talking across me and I didn’t understand a word. As far as I am concerned, a pixel is a small penis, pixel density is a small penis with a hard-on, a F-stop is when he pulls out two seconds before you are about to orgasm, exposure is what dirty old men do to young ladies in the park on a wet afternoon and point & shoot is a synonym for premature ejaculation. Those are my definitions and I am sticking to them, and I imagine they would apply just perfectly to those two photographers.

What really marks a photographer as someone to avoid at all costs is when he takes pictures of his own camera and posts them on the internet. I think that is even worse than guys who photograph their own dicks.

I think she knows exactly what she is doing - it’s called...

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 07:42:57 +0200

I think she knows exactly what she is doing - it’s called topping from below.

How on earth could you sleep, let alone have sex, in a bedroom...

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 07:39:00 +0200

How on earth could you sleep, let alone have sex, in a bedroom with wallpaper like that!

The real reason why they lock the door to the flight deck these...

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 07:24:23 +0200

The real reason why they lock the door to the flight deck these days.